i've missed out too many in life....

gonna miss one whole big chunk of it in time to come...

i promise if i ever have a son or daughter in the future....

i will never let him or her suffer under this education system...

they will never miss out anyone in their life....

i promise....

sunday afternoon , i am sitting alone infront of my computer. just looking at it and looking at my handphone. ever since when am i being taken away the right to express my feelings?

i cant express my feeling. cant convey my thoughts into actions. i just have the right to look at it and then turn away and sigh. everything is just like that, nothing more. this is one fact i have to convince myself. there are many times that i really would like to just do it but i cant. because if things were that simple, it wouldnt have become what it is today. i am void of it. and i just have to let it slip through. it hurts alot, because of the restrictions i am faced with. i cant control my feelings but i just have to control the flow of it. it just gets meaningless when no one actually cares. yep.

it just simply hurts...

whoa...ok...snyo quartet ended. finish up the two shifts these two days. next up will be the webbie and other stuff.

got this 16PF personality test. got to say it is a real thorough personality test. reflects accurately of what i am. in fact i might have known it long ago?

something which has been bottling up in me, that is the word respect. sometimes some stuff can just be laughed away really....some stuff cant. shjdfiqhq fdsnsfn fhfiuehfui hfieuhfui nfiuewfn nfieunhfui niunhfifn nfinfirjhihj hniuqwhidn fniwqnf
nfieunfi fneinfi fnifnoin ....

kk yep those stuff up there make sense. go figure it out yourself. a series of events that happened today which really shut me down and wake me up that hey what have i been doing all this while. am really wasting time on things that really dun seem to be worthwhile anymore? 3 events was enough to explain everything. yep sometimes i question myself, what do i really get in return for treating people nicely, for giving people the respect they somehow deserved. what i get in return is the attitude of indifference and disrespect. maybe somehow they dun feel anything. but hey sometimes some stuff are really done pretty obvious. i am not transparent, i do have feelings still. and what was done really hurt me lots. i am backing off really. i am too scared to continue what i am doing right now. it was the same in Vienna, it was the same in Singapore. what has really happened i dun really know. but i do know i still deserve that little amount of respect. yea?

wHee....relief....

PROMOS ENDED>>!!!!! haha

kk... went to clarke quay area with class... lunched, then spent like around 3 plus areas in Settler's cafe. erm is it the correct spelling? not very sure. nice time spent. they got all these cool board games which you will never see in the normal market. yep basically spend the after playing, joking, talking crap... pretty nice gang to hang out with except for lunch hehe....but anyways it is a nice class outing... :)

kk will be meeting chin chong tomorrow... haven gay with him for a long time liao haha..... kk jk jk.... JK only!! haha kk too hyper... yep ... but in another way after this weekend, life gonna get busy again...

To Do List:

SNYO webbie...
ThinkQuest
Openhouse...bleh...stresses
PW....
SNYO quartet...err...

hmm maybe not that busy after all...

while i am still mugging, others celebrate...

while i am still mugging, hesay would be meeting foyriendbay to celebrate...

life is never fair...

it is never fair.....

hmm am i talking sense....

one day break from promos. no paper tomorrow. which means more time to prepare for the remaining papers. in the midst of this exam, i remembered one year ago when i was at VJ open house, was talking to ben about his promos during that time. when asked how was it, he replied,"yea ok lah...can promote."

yep i understand how he really feels that time. i use to aim to excel in exam but i have to admit promos in jc isnt easy. the feeling to settle for mediocrity isnt really nice, this isnt me. but i guess i have to be more open minded and adapt to this new feeling.

it grows stronger by the days...little by little...it grows under attention and care....



just like love, it grows....