XUZY

2007-04-22T12:19:00.000+08:00

is there someone i can relate to? i really need help now....

and i think i need your help again, miss joyce....yep....

2007-04-08T18:43:00.000+08:00

SISPEC...

oh wells that stands for School of Infantry Specialists. Specs we are to be trained. Specialist in our field of expertise we were told. Warriors we will become. With Pride, We lead. lets see how far we will go....

anyway, im booking in later. i did not know how, but i got the key to access your world. i guess sometimes, it is not easy to understand a person unless you.....

anyway Happy Easter everyone..

2007-03-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

hello...

yep finally found the motivation to break the ice. its been a long time since i have written. Both on-line, and on paper. Well, before i disappear again for long i better write stuff down. Just so that I can remember. Yep...

Well many things happened this year, first came the enlistment, in which I have safely, and am here proudly to say that yes, i have just completed my BMT. Well, having my block leave now, and waiting for my posting to be out. well, many things happened, the field camp, the sit test, the live range, and all i couldn't believe it really flashed past just like that. Friendships were made, and brotherhood was carved out, that i believe is unforgettable for this life time.

Oh wells, A level results came too. well it is something which i anticipated much for, but somehow i dont really want to talk about it now. it is not that bad, but it just isnt up to my mark. so i choose to leave it here yea.

And of course, something marked a very important milestone of my life. right now i still have to thank God for all the arrangement on that very nice day yep. it is a reflection of how much happened for the past 3 years, but i am really glad that i found you at the most appropraiate of times yep :) In anyways, just want to let you know, i really love you. For now, and for the future yep.

Oh wells, posting out in about 2 days time, and i will be gone for whatever training that will be waiting for me. In, anyways will see you guys around soon. Good Luck!

"my first, my one and only...."

2006-11-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

whoo hoo... its finally OFFCIALLY OVER....yes officially ended....

yep finally it is really a relief to hand up that offcial last paper. and there you are i have completed my A levels! :) whee.....!!!

its been a real madness, but i have to give three cheers to my buddy Daniel! haha the efforts mugging together really paid off, there you are we spotted most of the questions! mail merge even! haha whoo hoo....alright its time to meet up and celebrate,

first on the list, the male members of the dysfunc family, heck the females!

secondly, the old buddies, Chin Chong, Daniel, Li Seng, and all.....

some long lost friends whom i will meet up individually, and last of all the 64 peeps definitely!. alright, its gonna be a meaningful and busy holiday again!

yes finally a time to rejoice!

hmm Christmas is reaching soon? haha Christmas Carols are already ringing!

2006-11-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

breath zhong yu......u need to relax....

2006-11-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

step up...

"people make bad decisions all the time."

yea, that was probably the best thing i picked up from that movie. was back at PS. somehow there is always this affinity with PS. as i walked to meet up with the class, many things came across my mind. and i felt how special was PS to me in a way. well, we had our first class outing to a movie there back during the honeymoon months last year. siew ming, vanessa, me, ivan, zhuang yi, and jeslyn. thats when we tricked ms fok into watching Boogeyman with us. thats when we took our first neoprint. yes that was the first time.

then it was 31st Dec 2005.....shant fill in too much details about this, but it was something meaningful to remember.

then it was 17th November 2006. The end of As for the chem people in my class. maybe officially the last class outing we have. and also the last neoprint for me, van, and siew ming, and ivan (the remaining of the gang that were present at the first outing). and for some, it was the first and the last.

yea, how time flies, almost 2 years already. and i always feel that it was never really enough for everyone of us. cant help it, this is how the world works. we had our fun time, and also always the time for us to part. haiz....and always this comment and feeling about how yesterday that event was. yep. cherish it while it last.

and definitely, i do make bad decisions along the way. but i hope things always will turn out fine. yep....

2006-11-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

boy am i on cloud nine now....hee....

whooo hooooooo!!!

2006-11-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

yes! its over!!!!!

well almost i mean.

when you are given 9 days to prepare for one paper, you know you should make full use of it. but 9 days for one paper, more than enough i think.

so yea heres the unofficial ending to my As!! its not easy man, all i can say is thank God. :) and of course the song below which kept me going. so its time, to decide whats good for me next hee. yea so i hope all things will eventually get to the better end :)

Good luck to the chem ppl, we will met up for prom :)....

2006-11-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

.....

so much has been through my mind as of lately. i promise i was dead sure what i wanted to be 2 years ago. i was brimming of hope and aspirations, set to accomplish what i have set for myself. but 2 years down the road, i have seen alot and learn alot. then i begin to question myself, was i right from the very beginning? now i have been spending time again to think of what i really want to study and do in the future. i find myself like a lost kid again, thinking that everything is good. well, it is good to have options open again, but somehow i has made me more confusing again. maybe joel was right in some sense, we should have liberal courses in University, so that we can try out everything, and then decide what is best for us. just as the girls in my class always question, what if i marry the wrong guy? i am questioning myself what if i made the wrong career choice? i know some may we have 2 years to sort our thinking out, but is 2 years enough? or is it a more time for us to procrastinate?

just as Rich Dad said, you set your goal, and you achieve it. but along the way you have to change your plans accordingly. the goal is still the same.

1.To be financially secured
2.To be financially comfortable
3.To be rich

maybe its time to change my plans accordingly....

2006-10-30T15:45:00.000+08:00

I feel that i ought to share this to everyone I know.

the song in the video is titled,"I can only Imagine".

lyrics :

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

{Chorus}:
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

yep, to all those christians who reads my blog, i mean friends i know who are christians, you can imagine the love that our Father showers on us, it is way more than what we see by Rick Hoyt in the video. yes i must agree, his fatherly is noble but this is because it was built on the relationship he shared between his son, and God. also, the everlasting determination that he showed for the iron man triathelon, it depicts how God never gives up on each and everyone of us. it was shown during my church service, i promise the impact on me was great. and the final blessings to all, i hope all those non christian friends who are reading this will give yourself a chance to come and know more about christianity. yep. I can only imagine if you are all in the kingdom of God, together with us :). alright all the best for now!

2006-10-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

finally the rain comes...

the chocking haze finally subsided. somehow the rain came at an appropriate time. at a time when i am troubled, confused and discouraged. wash away my troubles and all. i thank you so much.

surprise to know that you are attached. but the impact wasnt that great.

i smiled.

2006-10-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

one miracle to happen.

to convert all the non As to As. simple as that. 4 of that in 2 weeks time. did i say simple? suddenly the future seems bleak again.

and in addition, i should stop confusing myself again. things will always be this simple, and there is no point in complicating things. yes zhong yu, you shall not screw yourself up again. once bitten, twice shy, you should know the price by now.

2006-10-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

FareWell Assembly

yes finally it is a time to bid farewell, to VJ and to my Victorian Identity. It is a complete profile, yep, 6 long years as a Victorian. And as Mr Maran always says, "Once a Victorian, always a Victorian."

it is not easy to bid farewell to this 2 years in VJC. it has seen so much changes in me. the experience that i have gained and everything. i still remember that teacher's day video, yea a first step i took towards becoming who i am. earlier, that apple passing game for my own meet the senior session was unforgettable again. haiz so much has changed. in that apple passing game i was still obese, and certainly during that time i never thought i would have changed to who and what i am today. yes thanks to VJC again, where it has filled my life with so much enthusiasm, passion and all. yes i do bitch about the teachers, but hey isnt the bitching part one of the most fun thing that we enjoyed doing together? haha.

anyway took lots of photos today. still have some with peopl's camera! haha the photos in the VJC garden. yea i think it was the first time there was this atmosphere of camaraderie in the class, we really enjoyed taking photos with one another yep. definitely! oh wells, for those attending SDD, please dont lost your tickets, and we definitely will have more fun time taking glamorous photos!

till then, its gonna be the A levels, and also the GIC attachment to look forward to! haha take care everyone. and to S64 peeps, as i said i would be fair to everyone of you haha, love every single one of you out there! :)

2006-09-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

The prelims, it is finally over. somehow there is not much of a feeling of ecstacy. maybe the feeling was prolong by a freaking Math S which i think there is not much hope in that paper. well we shall see how it goes then haha.

anyway i just received Joyce's post. not from london. not yet. haha. but her post which i failed to receive before she left for london. the picture of the dysFunc Family. i think this is the closest group of friends that i can find thus far. so far 3 have left for oversea studies, bev, joyce, and sherry. yea the girls. i just have this mix feelings everytime each one of them left for overseas study. like when is it going to be my turn? or am i going be stuck here for the rest of my life? anyway i know for the guys we will somehow be reunited in the army soon. haiz what a way for reunion. so jun jie and i would be joining ben, zhong ye, and yun yuan real soon. as for ike, hes also enjoying his life in Curtis. anyway i do hope like 10 years down the road we still remember our goal 2015. haha....the vienna trip and i certainly hope i would be nearest to vienna by then. :)

well dreams is what spurs us on to live resiliently and to make the best of our lives. yes cliche as it may sound, but yep it should keep me fighting on till after As for the goal and dream that i've been living on.

2006-09-17T14:26:00.000+08:00

ahh...

the music for now....

it is just very cool....din know fei yu qing and jay chou can pair up so perfectly.

cool...cool....

2006-09-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

if a picture paints a thousand words....then i have much to say about the current state of my life.

haiz....

2006-09-02T10:26:00.000+08:00

hah...one would never expect....

choices....featured greatly in one of our comprehension. heh it makes or break you. but for once, it really breaks. there are many instances where choice cannot exist. yep. because when you do have choice then, you should actually deserve none. maybe this is the scenario for one, and maybe the one end up with both choices gone. hmm...choices they are sometimes evil....

anyway, lately been watching the 9pm show, I would call it Big man, small man. direct translation. according to tricia, it is called the Norman show. according to yong bin, it is called the huang wen yong show. k enough, i bet you get it already what show i am talking about. its pretty decent one i must, a very true reflection of society's life? somehow i think there a great message behind the show. some hidden message that kind of attracts me to keep watching it every night. oh wells.

blah blah...anyway choices again. for one, when you created too many choices in your life, it creates trouble too. so keep to one choice yea...choose wisely....

2006-09-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

arghh....finally i found the motivation to blog again....

its been a long time, almost a month. My cousin came from HK and went back again. took an unofficial one week break myself...hee...went to different places, and she crashed VJ too.....credits to vanessa....haha

anyway a few things on my list....

decent results for prelims.

organizing the bangkok trip. it must come through!

and a japanese buffet after prelims.

i just have this craving for jap food suddenly heh.

2006-08-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

yes, mum was not convinced, and i have to convince her.

yes, you made yourself ugly over the phone.

there is no need to elaborate more, you know it yourself. i am just utterly disappointed in you, and my judgement on you. well, in life, we lose some and we gain some. what is most important is that you never do things that bring down others. check yourself, will you ever be able to answer to this. i dont think so...

and yes, dont think that you will ever affect me in anyway anymore. and its done.

anyway we have better things to talk about....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONG BIN haha.....great doings ahead, buddy....

2006-08-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

kewl....check out this....can you count how many artists appeared in this video...haha

nice song too.... :)

2006-08-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

it was a transition period i guess... its all in the back of my mind. bad experiences, there you go.

yep we learn, and ive got better dreams to hold on. hmm...those people better be awed at my top 3 destinations for my universities. hee... yep. yep scholarship application is open now. in a way i cant wait to relinquish my most underlying dream. yep shant disclose it now, but once i get it i will say. and all of you will be surprised :) haha....

alright....progression, and progression, life moves on... :)

2006-07-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

yes, so many have happened lately. it is certainly not smooth sailing ... days can get depressing and things can get out of hand for no apparent reasons. when no explanation can be given, you really doubt the ability of rationale thinking, and you doubt your existence here. yes abstract as it can be (again), but certainly there are things that had happened that set me thinking. family, school work, and life. when problems arise......

yes i dont really know who to turn to now. And for the first time, i have to say, i really need someone by my side.....

2006-07-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

oh...did i mention...i really have a great balance of friends around me. there is joel and yong bin who serves to always make me think far and beyond. think things that are not me. yes USA is not me, haha, and of course Europe defines me better :). so yea, you guys, dont let your USA dreams get to the better of me....heh....and then there is always Chin Chong who is there to bring me down to earth, and to live life to contention. that is the simplicity that we ought to sought after. after all, living simple is just enough.

heh....anyway think got to do some uploading of pictures....hee....pictures from my V3X :)....

photo frenzy girls

and them again....

then it is my birthday, the very USA peeps surrounding the very European one....

and some artistic shadow shots of 64 guys....hmmm....

and also the very photo frenzy me too.....bleaghh....

2006-07-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

haiz,.... of all things to witness in VJ, i got to see uncle mayo in action. want to do, also dont close cubicle door, damn it....freaking disgusting....

anyway its been only busy lately....reall busy....and prelims just at the doorstep. arghh....anyway also the class planning the bangkok trip end of this year, and actual plannings are really kicking in, so looking forward to it ..... as tricia says,"i just want to be in bangkok now...!" hell yea, schools been too bothering or boring....maybe there is point of time when we look forward to army life...heh...oh wells......

kk got quite a lot of stuff for this years bday, gonna have a fun time using them :) whee....

2006-07-16T19:57:00.000+08:00

3 mths, 6 mths, a year, then 2, then 3, and so on.

is there any purpose in counting your days?

stupid buggers....

2006-07-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

heyz....waited for tricia to upload the pics and she finally did.....

anyway out of all i did in VS for 4 years, i actually went down to support kayaking that afternoon. if you get what i mean, this is really an achievement.

anywayz, out of all the stresses, this is the cheecky shots that we manage to get from the very stressed out class i think... hehe

yep...... :)

2006-07-03T14:48:00.000+08:00

theres always a need to make decisions in life. yes or no. yes simply that. that is always the two conclusions to most issues you handle. but sometimes, you can always work out for the course, to make the yes to become a no, or to make a no become a yes. however, sometimes situation just get quite sticky, you dont really know whether it is a yes, yes. or is it a no, no. yea thats probably how irritating it is.

anyway, sometimes i do think that the outcome for the future is always certain. certain things always end up in a certain way no matter what is going to happen. some it is still the same, either a 'yes' situation or a 'no' situation. last night, my mum somehow asked me this question. somehow she reads my mind, and somehow i was also shocked to hear the question being asked. and well all i can say is that i really dont know what will happen if the scenario is true, and what she asked is really going to happen. i got a big jolt on the right side of the chest and i really feel terrible. maybe the feeling will be worse when it happen, and maybe things will go on smoothly, go the way i want it and i can avoid this patch in the future. yea.

so no matter what happens, there can only be two conclusion i guess. one is really cruel while the other seems sweet. the sweet one i really hope it does happen, but the cruel one, if it will be really going to happen, then there is nothing i can do to stop it. but somehow , i think i still got to face it anyway. but there is an option out there. it is really up to me really. do something drastic and hopefully that even when the so called cruel situation crash in, it would least affect in a way then. i guess i ought to continue seek for the answer, and do proper planning. cause things cannot just carry on like this. somehow i do think i mean it this time....

2006-06-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

the most bizarre of all dreams......

the feeling of the most dejected when you wake up. you remembered every detail of your dreams last night. that is not really funny. perhaps, this is one of the fears that i try very hard to cover in the innermost part of me. haiz...oh wells...oh wells....

oh wells, exams and mugging are bad for your health. it just makes you depress.

2006-06-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

the story of my neighbour....

i guess i was too shock for words when i actually found out what was happening all these while. she is a really very nice lady with a very smart and obedient daughter. however, there was one part of the family that is always missing, popping up once in a while. for a long while i thought that the husband was so busy with his work that i seldom see him. now i really know why.

we have been neighbours for years. as a kid, i always thought about how come i never see this uncle of that family. but it never troubled me because somehow i still see him once in a very long long while. it is only until recently that i really observed about something. strolling after dinner with my parents is a everday habit. then, recently, this family of three i suppose also started to stroll after their dinner. but strange enough this uncle is never dressed in home clothes. always in his formal attire. every day after their stroll, he would just drive off. yea i felt strange. instead of heading back to home he just drive off. then for something that i never noticed, his car, for all these while was never a registered vehicle in this condo. then i think the pieces of the puzzle then started to form like a big picture. then after talking to my parents, i think i was the laggiest person ever on earth. but i do think that being ignorant is really a bliss.

and so, i guess many would have guessed correctly. yes this is that uncle's second unofficial family. i dun like the idea of calling my neighbour that term because she is really a very kind hearted woman. and definitely this explains why her daughter is such such an introvert. even when they visit sometimes, she just wouldn't speak up to even call my parents. i thought she was weird, but now i know why...

this kind of love, i will never understand. but this woman's life is forever tied down to this, being the unofficial one. but i guess her love for this guy is really deep to be able to give up her everything just for him. now everyday, after the stroll, i would see the mother and the daughter walking back, with the guy gone again. i feel the sympathy again for their eternal silenced suffering. however, is it a suffering for them? maybe not, maybe it is still a bliss. thats why they are still able to hold on until now....

2006-06-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

second time in my life i really lose my temper.

its a grave grave mistake. why did i ever....

2006-06-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

alright, an early Happy Father's Day to all father's out there :)

tonight was a special night i was. due to my sis-in-law hospital night call tomorrow night, which is like working from tomorrow 7am onwards up till monday 12 noon. yes thats night calls. poor doctors out there. so we had an early celebration of Father's Day. both family haha. so its my sis-in-law's family and my family together. it was a lively steam boat dinner. :)

when two Fathers come together, you have to beware. cos their alcohol capacity is big....haha....the more they eat, the more they drink and the more they talk. yep it was really nice...

anyway just to show off abit :) after dinner, i personally came up with a bit of surprise. heh.....

my very own chocolate fondue....to much delights, the folks love it :)

and also strawberry chocz :)

hehe...with abit of choya, the night's so great :)

Happy Fathers' Day once again!

2006-06-17T14:49:00.000+08:00

if you people think that the previous entry is crap, which is almost i think, theres no harm in trying though. dark chocolates would not harm, or else just leave it to the myth busters then. heh :)...

all i can say holidays is ending soon. if you really call it a holiday. came across an article in Today earlier, obviously, some people out there are not really happy about studying their way through the holidays. so they wrote in to complain about lack of of family life, quality family bonding hours that is lost over studying and ultimately naming this june holidays, the 'mid term home study' break. quite true is it. at last someone is speaking the minds of the thousands out there. but judging on all the hypes before term break, if you push mid-years before term break, not only the students would go berserk, the teachers would be meeting their doomsday too. so lets not push it too hard alright. while there is an infinite supply of students out there, the supply of teachers are not meeting the excess demand. so lets not push for over shortage by piling up their workloads. after all, and once again, we are just beings under the starry night.

it is not easy trying to manage the stress of mid-years and the process of growing up. or is it that the workload that has gotten to me once again. hmm...many things to think about. last year this time, i was seventeen, gone through a rough time. although there were sweet moments like the tour, there were bitter moments to face as well. i certainly hope this year would not be a replica, although i still do see certain amount of repetitions again. certain things that happen are just so familiar....not very sure got hit by this song "I was only Seventeen"....hmmm

2006-06-13T19:49:00.000+08:00

eating chocolates......

well do you need knowledge to eat them? oh yes....its a culture......

firstly, the best temperature to eat the chocolate is at around 19 degree celcius. So get ready a cup of ice water.

drink down some of the ice water, let the temperature of the ice water regulate the temperature of your mouth to around the optimum temperature which is as stated earlier 19 degree celcius. after this, kindly place the piece of chocolate into your mouth.

close your eyes, let the chocolate melt slowly in your mouth, you are tasting the richness of the primary flavour of the chocolate. enjoy the moment.

after which, slowly chew the piece of chocolate for around 5-10 times, to release the secondary flavour of the chocolate....

then push the remaining up to the upper jaws and let the remaining chocolate melt untirely in your mouth.....

what you have just experienced is the unforgettable rich aroma and sweetness of the

chocolate.......

p.s: this trial goes best with dark chocolate...it serves to err....release stress...hmmm......

2006-06-08T15:26:00.000+08:00

is it really holidays?

dont think so. i think i spend most of my days practically at the same place, the same spot and maybe the same position all the while. yes, dont think it is really that much to talk about. except for the NS medical check-up which in a way freaked my mum out abit. yes i am a pes A. but dont think i will be so lucky to be chosen to be a commando right. i am not the only son, my brother had already completed NS, i am a pes A, eyesight wise yes a bit of problem lah. oh wait, did i ALMOST meet all the criteria to be chosen? alright, i better not receive that letter.....*cross fingers*....

anyway this world cup video is a total ownage. i just like it so much and i am sure many of you all have caught it somewhere on TV too and really have this feeling of hey i want to watch it again. the magical mixing between soccer, classical music and pop is just so so so impressive in this video. the fusion is wonderful i must say.

alright. enjoy.

2006-06-03T15:40:00.000+08:00

OHHOHOHHOH!!!! its over!!!!!.....

alright, finished my last official concert for any official orgnisation that i am serving. its really a sweet one i think. its really an experience being the concert master for serious works like the famous tchaikovsky string serenade and the beethoven symphony no. 1. yep indeed Victoria Strings (our new name) is set on a journey for many more of this kind of concert to come. yea, not that other music is not good or what, but we have really grown up from the kiddie Corelli and other light evening music already. cant wait for the video to come too...oh gosh~~~

yep, its something that i will really miss. oh wells, think i will upload all the photos on shutterfly lor.... haha

oh yea....thanx to charmaine, keep snatching my camera to take pictures of herself.....another tyy alike....haiz.....k lah....and afzal also....so many of these species arnd...

Strings Concert

oh yea one picture that i really like....

2006-06-02T10:37:00.000+08:00

concert day....

ahhh finally we made it through to this very much aniticipated day of the year i guess. the camp was, TRULY intensifying. if you understand what i mean lol. where everyday there are girls who break down in tears due to scoldings, frustration and all. even guys who hold their tears back suffer from build up stress which is simply fever. sounds terrifying huh... well it is a fact though. but no matter what we made it through though, building up the ensembleship in a very very good way. tonight you guys will know the difference, the progress we have made :)

anyway, the ferrari red shirt with our black jacket whoo... sounds great huh. yep it will be our concert attire. no kidding, it is really FERRARI RED. very very red indeed. but it goes very well with the jacket though. another thing to watcg out tonight. and yea....

my cufflinks :)

okok, off to prepare myself for tonight :)

2006-05-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

yes finally it is term end again....savouring the moments when i can breathe normally at least. the feelings is much more better as compared to few weeks ago. the feeling of being so messed up the past 2 weeks of the term was erm not that great after all. having all sorts of tutorials flying across the table. Teachers going crazy about completing their OH-SO-HOLY syllabus, there isnt a very nice moment where you can stop to unwire yourself. yes you can think of the terible frustration of trying to unwire a messed up ball of metal wires and trying all your efforts to untangle them then straightening them. yes thats the feeling.

at least there is some reward at term end. the nice cool weather these few days which makes your sleep much more enjoyable. the temporary break from all the work so that you can breathe in the fresh air after the rain, listen to the birds chirping. yes in chinese that is called niao yu hua xiang hee...but its really true. try to appreaciate your surroundings after the rain, you will know what im talking about.

oh yes, for once you end this season with a high. yes few entries earlier, Liverpool won the FA CUP...hail!!.....then now VJ soccer guys got back the trophy that we so unexpectedly lost it last year. yes the EPL feeling practically filled up the Jalan Besar Stadium. The astro turf, the high and crazy Victorian crowd, you just somehow feel that you are in the FA CUP finals or the champions league last seasons where you see Liverpool work out miracles one after another. yes in some similar comparison, VJ Soccer did work out a big miracle this year to clinch the title this year. The crazy first goal was a lob that left the MJ goalkeeper rooted to the ground after it so unseemingly ended up into the net. that was the equaliser that spurred us on. then we saw the all mighty MJ number 35 who practically cut through the whole VJ defence himself to score the winning goal that lasted only up till the last 4 minutes in the game. yes VJ miracles worked out in the last four minute. a whopping 3 goals in the last four minutes. that is what got us crazy. me included. i remember hugging wei loong and terry after the winning goal was scored. it was totally ecstatic. that is when i really feel for the first time, i felt more for Singapore soccer.

at least it was a high that ended the term. watched Da vinci code after, it is a nice film, with all the puzzle solving skills involved but for one thing, the story about Jesus and Mary Magdelene was a total ridicule. rubbish. yes its just a film so dont take the content too seriously. then it was the band concert. starting to pack up for the strings camp. 3 days 2 nights. the concert then im done :) yes hold on committee it is just a few more days of work...

ahh...saw many funny things online lately. have a few comments i want to make but i think it is best kept it to myself. oh wells, nothing much i can do too, so whats the comments for. but really at times i really hope i do have the right to act bullish, but whenever i am on the edge, i was pulled back because i am reminded im not someone who matters too anyway. so yea dont stir up trouble. that is a better plan right....so i choose to avoid. maybe this is the best solution.

alright, thats quite a mouthful, time for some little work...untl then take care everyone...after all, we are just beings under the starry night.

2006-05-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

"My heart broke when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, another man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. "

read it from somewhere. i dun think it is only heart break that is able to says it all. its not that simple i think. but other than heart break is there some word that can describe the state of mind or the state of emotion that is even more devastating than these 2 words. oh my.... i dunno....there are many things that i am reminded of, many things that i am afraid of, many things that simply put me off....when can i ever stop thinking man....until today theres someone who pointed out to me that i actually have white hairs. its not in the genes that i should have white hairs at such early age. so it must be something else. consequence of thinking too much. oh wells...dunno why this sentence just struck me so deep. maybe i am too afraid...yep....

-lost-

2006-05-17T22:31:00.000+08:00

whoo....busy busy busy.....

kk heres the cover page for the program booklet.....

kk...back to work now....

2006-05-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

all right.....thanx guys for all the comments and tips and insights into DESIGNING....i never know so much before hee....

so heres the final edited version

haiz....really feel the pain of not having namecard again....just did a gig just now....and people are all asking for it....in the end all i can do is to smile and trade telephone numbers again... so not professional....haiz....

2006-05-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

all right....just came up with the design for the A5 size poster.

so here goes....

GIRLS AND GUYS PLEASE COME AND SUPPORT FOR THE STRING ENSEMBLE CONCERT!

some publicity..... :)

so if u want to rip it off from my site....just do so .... :) hee

2006-05-14T16:51:00.001+08:00

oh....hey hey....

anyways first and foremost ....

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there...thanks for all that you have done for us.... :)

hee....yep celebrated mother's last night with my sister-in-law's family....erm maybe you all cant see the link between me and them....but yea....i am there anyway....hee....

hee...yea nothing to do there so me and my bro at his in-law's house....haha

hee parents coming back from their trip later at 1:20am. think gonna skip school tomorrow....and yea one more thing....

hail to LIVERPOOL!!! the FA CUP!!!!

2006-05-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

all right went to watch Aqua Marine yesterday.... hmm dont ask me why.... watched it with the girls in my class together with Joel....okok practically the theatre is just the five of us there.... no more, no less....yea....but frankly speaking it isnt a really bad film. put aside the criteria of solid story line, good movie budget, or mega hollywood stars in the cast, they practically have none of them....but i think it is a warm reflection of how things work now adays, save for the mermaid part, i think most of it reflects bit of us in some parts of our life, yea it touches the bottom of your heart somehow.....oh wells.....they say, after all it is a ROMANTIC....CHEESY....CHICK FLICK......

yep, afternoon went walking arnd abit....the we saw the lead actress, Chang Jin, from Da Chang Jin at suntec!!! :) and isabel took a photo with her u know.....we were really THAT close......

yea....we were really that close .... -_-"

2006-05-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

hey hey!!!! :)

WHEEEEEE!!!!! hehe.... yep i PASSED napfa with a SILVER!!!!!!!.....AHHHHHHHHHH........

kk keep cool yea zhong yu......oh wells its really great yea... i clocked 11:26 for 2.4 running....yep record time for me :)....hee

anyway yea its been a journey from where i start till now..... and really thanx to the girls who cheered so much for me when i ran....its one of the reasons why i got to 11:26....13 seconds faster than the trial run :)

and of course S64 guys who has been supporting me too hee... and yea a very big thank you to Mr Gi too.....haha

so yea no extra BMT training...and all which is a super relieve.....now i kinda understand what is really Live for the moment.

understand the process of achieving a goal when u set it properly and really work towards it....oh man....

anyway all these comes at a price too....now ive got a injured knee cap....cant really straighten my knees...ouch...but yea who cares.... :) the joy is overwhelming...

oh maybe its bcos of the current excited state...my body temperature is running high too...but yea who cares too....

okok so i better rest b4 i die infront of the comp....till then everybody take care.... love every single one of you out there...

S64 especially :)...

2006-04-30T10:22:00.000+08:00

heh...ok its sunday morning...sipping and bumming around. enjoying the sweet lingering aroma of the chinese tea, around my throat and my five senses. no wonder they always it calms your senses hmmm.....peace.....

anyway mum dug out this photo from somewhere hee.... cute huh....

heh cute huh....

anyway played this gig at raffles shopping centre last week. its about wedding fashion and stuff, so the shoppers there are mainly those couples that are marrying soon. so in the course of the gig, we actually received a few more from those couples that want us in their wedding. hmm...they asked for namecards, which i dun have any, din see the need yea....which ultimately leads to me feeling bad. anyway still took up the deal by exchanging hp numbers...but still...there is better way of going about these small little business that proves to be quite...... lucrative....so off to something which is coming up soon i hope.... :) heez....

2006-04-26T21:45:00.000+08:00

heh, Course work 2 is finally over. 9 hours gone and theres 12 more hours to go.... it was really a geat load off the mind hehe....too bad the very final product cant be brought out but there are bits and pieces of work and stuff that i tried to work out at home yea.... so here its how it goes hee.....

the HOMEPAGE for the XUZY University....hee....world class yea .... :p

oh wells and heres the sub-page for XUZY Hall....my very own hostel.....hee

oh wells, everyone keep smiling yea... tomorrow will always be a better day....

2006-04-20T18:33:00.000+08:00

all right, enjoyed a long weekend for last week. now back to chionging again....yep...

amidst all the mundane schoolwork that we face daily, certain interesting things still happen yep. so yea something interesting did happen to me last week and yea its a moment where all kinds of feelings just come, shock, surprise, happy, all the good feelings yea....haha

so here goes...sherilyn planned a surprise return to Singapore which was totally unexpected yep. its a bit rush because of the lasck of notice but we still met up :) so its me sherry and Joyce...at Esplanade the night before she left.

Sherry: hey you....pictures here for you yea :) think you cant DL the pictures joyce send so...visit my blog often yea hehe....

me and sherry

Joyce and sherry

some animated magic.....HEE

yep we'll be missing you dearly again...yea....so in the meanwhile stay happy yea....

2006-04-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

its part of growing up i think.....

wads the point of having a wireless keyboard when u know that ur comp cant use it? u cant have a black keyboard to match my iMac....all and all there are so many many many things that so contradict in my life now...

but what if i come to the decision that i just give up everything and just settle for things that i strongly believe in. that i should really cherish all these because they are all within my grasps rather than looking far beyond, planning so hard for the future and you know that the probability is so small. yea P(X) is so small...and X is so random.....and maybe in time to come where X becomes Y...will the probability be bigger? dang thats too much statisitcs for my life.....

maybe i should really come to the point where i really make THE decision.....again growing up sux isnt it....

2006-04-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

yea man.....

found this mp3 totally hooked on it now....you know when the melody just get stuck....stuck...stuck.....in your mind....

The Beu Sisters....

I Was Only Seventeen....

Crushed....

cool totally ownage.....

2006-03-31T23:54:00.000+08:00

hee kk....just came back from music fest....it kinda rock yea.....totally impressed by the vast pool of talent present in VJ.....

anyway Joel it is really a great job done yea....u sang very welll...... :)

anyway more pictures..... hee.....

qing sheng's master piece yea.....do some advertisement here...hope u get ur prize for the competition

and when Joel's getting worried about being.....well... you know....

the stress experienced by classmate.... and when i attempt to counsel them....it backfired...haiz..... :(

and finally something which i cant take my eyes off......the new hot chic in the new house....

2006-03-27T17:53:00.000+08:00

hee finally updating here yea....sorry cant work with my windows laptop. now i am back on mac, so yea lots of pictures this time round hee :) okok first was mum's birthday recently.....

ok was at Chijmes Lei Garden......food was nice and yummy.....hee nice dinner :) happy Birthday mum :)

next up was the STJ ..... had lunch at suntec Pizza Hut......

Junior Fiona.....cheecky one....very hyper girl haiz....

then it was with....

Yong Bin, Xue Ying, Elaine, Joel whose face was well hidden but still can see abit...and little Fiona....still hiding somewhere....

then it was with my angel AND mortal...An Qing the one in white and blue ..... :)

Happyily...time passed....then it was DysFunc Family outing.....strength is kinda reduced....but we still enjoyed the dinner at Glutton's Bay HEE :)....after dinner we went to VCH...where we started our favourite activity of.....

with Zhong Ye.....

the reduced but still happy family....

random shot caught us pointing at a "chio bu" that just walked past......hehe....

well its the "chio bus" from our own family :)....

alright .... tts a pretty decent post i think ^_^....

2006-03-18T16:50:00.000+08:00

hee....im feeling more and more like an ape or monkey or chimpanzee....something along that line...wait did i spell that correct? yea by the amount of fruits i munch on daily, i really feel like a...err...one of the above mentioned....haha.....

anyway....life's good...my iMac is arriving soon, to replace my ibook...no choice yea...not that i want to spend this money but my ibook, is gone, power failure, mother board failure and stuff....yea so HAVE to change you know....it serve its purpose though, see through my bro's final year project, his SIA first assignment, and then the very last part of its life with me....err....oh yea its been with me to Vienna too....haha oh wells, shall put it in my glass display yea....board of honours ermm...or honour's of board...kk...shall just leave it in my glass display simple as that.....

life's not too bad, no more distractions, just pure fun and concentration when i need to....hee....k lah hols ending...gotta go to meet my family....will update with photos soon! :)

2006-03-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

heyz....k just back from my weekend chalet at my brother's house....

had bbq at his house, then stayed over....then wad i saw is really care and concern from my brother......geez.....

waking up in the middle of the night to check whether i am use to the new bed. i really totally din expect it man..... then bcos i din bring blanket to his house, it became too cold to continue sleeping, so i decided to sleep in the living room. then morning came, the first my bro did was to check on me, then he found that i am not in the room and he got all frantic, only to find me sleeping like a pig in the living room....really touched and feeling fortunate that i have a brother like him...well not much time left too till he gets married and shift out of the house. and definitely i will miss a really great company and advisor, someone whom i always confide in no matter what happens. yep this is true brotherly love.... :)

2006-03-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

haiz....oh wells everyone just have to move on....life still goes on....yep....although it is still unbelievable but i figured that i cant think about it too much too....yep no matter what my friend i prayed for you, and i really hope you found your paradise and rest in peace yea....

kk.....term ended and holidays finally started. finally got to cam with ah lyn haha....:) it was kinda weird but still finally saw u in MOTION! gosh....miss you alot alot alot....alot alot alot....alot alot alot....kk it goes on for the whole page yea....anyway...yea really miss you alot......goes on for another page.... anyway im also counting yea...really looking forward to june and really looking forward to see you....the time will really past very quickly yea....till then you must take care k.....yep....

oh yea...hols....well time to rest, time to play and most importantly time to study and revise too....dun wanna lose out...and i really want to improve on the result i have now....really must give my best shot man.....alright....here goes hols really started le....hee....

2006-03-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

why...oh why.....

ended my common test today but why oh why.....

this is the only question that is ringing in my head.....

4C had their happy times in the past.....

4C graduated.....

06-03-2006.....4C gathered for the wrong reason.....

no matter what happened that made you came to this decision....you really took the courage to do it....but it is really the wrong method....you have no idea how sad your friends are, you have no idea how sad your family are.....you have left behind too much too much......but....yea

haiz....there is too much that is so unpredictable in life, one moment you are there, the next you really dont know why....

this friend of mine was my classmate. the gang of us crapped alot during that time. the time we spent together rushing our science lab reports in VS, Zi Jian, Boon Tat and I will always remember it.

rest in peace my dear friend....we enjoyed your company.....

well a relieve that common test is over, but the mood ....isnt really there now....

2006-03-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

Upon revision of Operating System for computing, there is a few points to take note:

1. What kind of operating system does not support multi-tasking?

Ans : Windows Operating System.

Explanation : Because Windows just crashes when you attempt to multi-task or to simultaneously execute programs. Therefore it is one that is not suitable and to the extent of not supporting multi-taking.

2. Is Windows OS suitable as a multi-programming operating system?

Ans : NO.

Explanation : when a user attempts to open up several programs at the same time, it just crashes.

3. Judging on the answers to Q1 and Q2, what OS will be appropriate to keep any home users HAPPY.

Ans : Mac OS X

Explanation : There is no reason, it does not crash and it is just much more superior than Windows. Because it simply "Think Different" from any Win OS and Win OS just attempt to be creative when E is for "Idiot"....idiot.....

2006-02-25T15:09:00.000+08:00

whoa....how a common test can churn up crazy things....make crazy things happen.....

oh well, if there is one thing i have to say, i have never studied so much in my life, not even O levels was that horrendous. so while things continue to be crazy i really look forward for next week to end, so i can take a break and do things that are maybe not so crazy i think.

went for UK university talk with Yong Bin and Joel. Somehow i just have this affinity with Europe. while my brother had been to Japan for three times, i have been to Europe twice. and the two experiences really make me totally fall in love with Europe. so really, Imperial College is the ultimate destination and IDA scholarship is the ultimate goal.

in the midst of all these, saw a particular someone at the talk, whose particular smile left a deep deep impression on me. hmmm....alright got to shake off the image soon, its distracting me, well for a bit i think ..... heh.....

cheers.....

2006-02-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

oh oh....

just a snapshot of the juniors sitting opposite during JTS :)

2006-02-20T19:27:00.000+08:00

Opportunity has come and this is the chance to grab it and work towards it!

i will do it!....

2006-02-19T17:08:00.000+08:00

oh some stuff to cover....

JTS was fun, wonderful juniors. it was at fish and co glasshouse. its much more happening than last year's JTS, both classes was too dead. this year was very different. so much more happening :) hehe......

gosh, school days can only get more and more tiring. the time when you reach home and start doing tutorials, u end up finishing them only past mid-night, then you have to wake up at 6 for school again. gosh...haiz...but what to do, must in order to sustain, somehow i have to find joy within all these chores....racking through my brain....hmmm....it would be insane if i can provide you a reason.... bleh....

oh oh, something miraculous happen, my ibook, the hard disk really died. so i have to wait for the time where i can squeeze time to go down to sim lim to buy a hard disk. then have to pry open my laptop and insert the damn thing in. hope i dun screw it or rather it dun screw me enough le..... threw away some stuff too....which i deemed totally redundant from now on....

k lah what ever it is, there is definitely one thing i need to say, sorry thank you. its a song tho, go figure it out yourself....blehz....

2006-02-15T19:37:00.000+08:00

whoo....such a V-day ....haha to think i spend the whole day err....in school .... hee....my gosh...reached home at 11. not from a date yea, but from TUITION. yea....

haha this is the second year when V day has meaning to me. last year being a freshman in VJ, oh yea so din know much about this day. so pretty much received a cultural shock last year. this year is different...much more happening to me i must say haha...

hehe, gifts from wonderful juniors all in the box, from angel and both mortal hee, from classmates, from other juniors. Roses from Yu Min, haha, thanx alot yea....

oh yea to my string ensemble's angel, thanx alot for your cookies, really generous of you yea....tho we just started the angel and mortal game, still very nice of you to give me those cookies yesterday. i wun die laughing if i know who u r k....kk shall force elizabeth to make u come and read this haha.....

anyway 64 girls, really appreciative of the effort you all put into the gift to give to us. all the guys feel very appreciative too k...so expect some surprises from us soon yep.......

anyway eliz, really sorry about the incident today k.....really din purposely read ur messages haha.....i will keep the secret well provided the bribery is good yea .... haha just kidding lah :P.....

oh yea, the sweeter side of yesterday, i spend V-day night with Vanessa and Siew Ming haha....TUITIONING at Gary Chan's haha, all the gossips over dinner and during the waiting time... oh well, it really entertained me.....haha.....so yea heres a dedication to u girls haha... :P

2006-02-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

damn suay....

hard disk failure.....now using my bro's powerbook...

anyway now it is a mixture of feeling :

envious

anger

frustration

guilt

gosh....

2006-02-07T18:46:00.000+08:00

its all a joke after all....

really one should really learn to treasure that moment, that very second when any thing is happening. my gosh...the second you feel you are special, the next you feel like a piece of shit.

lifes the same, its the same old process repeating itself everyday. sometimes certain special thing happens, but it is too fast to really give it attention or maybe im kinda avoiding it. but by the time i turn back everything resumes to its normal state.

its fortunate that life does not need to repeat itself but in the same time its unfortunate that it cant repeat itself. its a process, so treasure everything you see along the way.

hmmm....no point whining anymore, no one cares anyway. works calling, maybe that is something that is most important now....

cya...

as i said opportunities are never equal, and you should really figure it out which way to make it to the most partial one.

but hey, dun make it too ugly yea.... ;)

2006-01-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

praise the lord...

thank God....

really thanx God....

wish come true!!! :)

2006-01-29T19:14:00.000+08:00

yep...happy chinese new year...

may all wishes come true.

come true...

come true...

come true...

come true...

come true...

come true...

and i truly want it to

come true................................

2006-01-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

alright....another week has passed....new year eve is finally here. met up with joyce yesterday.

everything seems to be happening well...but i guess that both of us are missing someone dearly and badly....yep as she says life goes on, time will heal everything yep. haiz...

alright its the chinese new year which is usually a big thing for my family. as the chinese says the planning of the year starts in the spring, which means it starts during the chinese new year.

big plans ahead....

1. IDA scholarship

2. Imperial College of London

so i jolly well work hard for it man....cos as long as i believe in it i will do it yep....it is a matter of how badly i want it yea...everything is in control ;)

yep big wishes ahead,

for the big plans to come true. yep.

looking forward to june already, looking forward to see you.

so happy chinese new year to all,

until then, i shall close myself up to fully concentrate on all the task i have on hand.

So long people ;)

2006-01-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

finally, i found the momentum from within to type an entry.

schools arent that bad, but something is just missing. my view of the school changed alot. i dunno why. right now, i am at a loss of everything, loss of myself, loss of thoughts and loss of speech. everyday it is just school work, school work, school work and even more school work. there is nothing more to look forward to. like talking to someone on the phone when i want to...it really sucks to be in a world of my own again.

something which is better. hmm is it really better? i took up Maths S. there is no reason why i took it except to just believe it is all arranged by God. i never want to take it. but that day after lesson, just a few words, really i mean a few, with Mr Wong and there i am in the programme. i dunno, i just prayed along that things will turn up fine eventually.

that week past real quickly. then i remembered, the song that Uncle John wrote for singer A-mei. yep uncle john is a friend of mine. maybe some of you all have heard the song from the radio, some have not. but because of courtesy i din download the song to listen to it. but hey, i listen to him sang 'live' k. yep "She's Gone" ... its the song that he wrote. perfect setting for everything that is happening now. geez....

many reliving of the past this past week, but i smiled at them, because it is really nice happy memories. oh wells, hope all is well for you over there...

"I'll be loving you..."

2006-01-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

its been a fun week....orientation 1, me actually teaching mass dance!? haha oh wells, cheers, and the suntec mass dance. really it serves to be a part of very fond memories to look back on...

anyway looking at the freshmen, it reminded of me when i just entered VJ last year. shy about everything, especially the friendship dance. i guess its the same all the years huh.....oh well, comparing me now and then, really i have matured alot alot....mindset about lots of things have changed....haha, oh wells, its nice of how i feel about things now, cos it definitely be valuable to me along the road. at least in VJ, i did many things that are meaningful.

to inferno ogls: thanx everyone for the fun. the lame stuff we share amongst the guys, the cheers the female ogls gave to every guys, haha it is really hilarious. and the very silly crush shu yu have on my freshmen, lol its REALLy hilarious. hahaha

haiz, one week left and its really one week left. sighz....dun really know wad to say.

2006-01-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

kk

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Wheee.....!!!!

2005-12-30T13:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm...i dunno, it sucks to look back at things while you still have difficulties catching up with time. the time just get shorter as you grow older. i remember i use to complain that december holidays were too long when i was in primary school. how ridiculous is that huh....

Last gathering event of 2005: ok, last night was sherilyn's farewell party with the dysfunctional family. well, i think this isnt just a farewell for sherry but also farewell to everyone in the family. seriously, after last night's gathering, all of us will be pursuing all the different things in life on ourself. so yea, we still have to part somehow. but on the brighter side, it was fun. a real shock and surprise for sherry i guess. strange how the whole world knows that there is a surprise party except for her huh....got to be more observant in the future k haha....but well hope you have enjoyed it.

Last major event of 2005: today's the 29th wedding anniversary of my parents, so we gonna dine out tonight. 29 years, its a long way you know. isnt easy at all, all the things they have been through with my bro and i as a family, without them, definitely there will not be me nor my brother. thanx for everything as parents, you really did a great job, really glorified the purpose of marriage and task of marriage.

oh wells, before you know it then it will be the new years time then school starts. haha another shock huh for everyone right. kk i think its time to pack up and conclude for this holiday and prepare myself for sch starts. its gonna be another marathon, another huge obstacle to overcome. then before you know, 16th january will come, and life gonna be different again. alrighty, i just place all these worries onto God yea, cos he will handle it for me. for now i just want to continue smiling and enter the new year with a new heart :)

2005-12-25T21:52:00.000+08:00

hohoho....merry christmas!!!

kk today went for church for service then went orchard to lunch and shop haha....now guys u have to shop only on christmas because there is end-of-season sales which has much more to offer than pre-season sales haha...yep...then i think i saw a dream car of mine. saw this toyota jeep like car...gosh...i hardly find family car that is actually taller than me! yep wanted to take a picture of it but well better not, dont want to invite troubles. well, definitely i will work towards the future...

okok now got to back track abit to the chalet. hee, definitely i think overall it is real nice, especially amongst the peeps of bungalow 15. yep we had a fun time really. but it was too short really...just have this feeling that i never want it to end. was having some sidetrack thoughts you know. like if i can add a car of my own there.hee....then the bungalow belongs to me...hehe...then me and my wife are there....hehe...then having fun with all the friends hehe....gosh that is really THE future you know.

and as i always say, zhong yu works hard for it to come true!!

oh well, dreams come true right if you dare to dream about it and i believe i've got the ability as well...so just wait and see...hee...

anyway really, towards the end there are few things that joyce said that really hit my heart.

1. before we step out of the bungalow lazing around, she said to sherry,"aiyah, really dont want you to leave you know."
i gave a huge sigh, yep really dont want you to leave but well theres nothing much that we can do but just to treasure the remaining time we have left. really dont forget us you know as the years go by....

2. afterwards when we all stepped out of the bungalow, joyce said to me again,"haiz, your 6 years ends here...." yep it definitely ended there and also i guess a pretty nice way to bade goodbye to my snyo career. 6 years with friends coming and leaving, but i really never made much effort to retain them in my life and all. just there were great buddies like edward, jonathan ong, hoe yong, matthew harkness, duana, isabelle and many batches infront all the way back till year 1999 when i joined the main orchestra, it was really the turning point of my life. and of course, the one and good old andris and gipson who basically grew up with me in the orchestra. the 3 pri 5 who were almost in the main orchestra since 1999. gosh 6 years, its been alot. the up and downs in the orchestra, the transition, we all witnessed it together. really thank you all guys.

and a nice way to end everything, we took a very nice picture outside the bungalow.

yep, definitely i will take all the effort to retain both of you girls in my life, especially you...yea YOU. both of you came and made really nice impact on it. yep definitely because...

You girls rocked my world...

2005-12-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

2 years ago...

i signed up for friendster but it is never to my liking, lags like crazy, never liked the concept like isnt it another type of mirc where you just hook up friends you dont know from the net.

2 years later...

hey i found a couple of my long-lost friends. dang really missed them. added them and sent them a message. hmm really miss these people man. especially kukuh, hey if you ever come across my message on friendster must reply k? really really miss you tons. so ok, now friendster do has its charm. ;)

yep kukuh is a friend that i will never forget, helped me alot for my last 2 years in VS, advice on studies, adivce on life, he definitely taught me alot alot. but after Os, he went back to indonesia and from then on, i hardly heard about him. hmm...memories flooding back. hee, yea kukuh, you sure rocked....

oh wells, some similar scenario gonna repeat itself soon. a nice friend is definitely gonna be missed too. haiz...why must life be this way man....

PS: well, something which i discovered. i reached another level of maturity in life. saw many things that happened over this past year in a different view. re-understood alot of things. thanx Lord for the enlighten, i start to smile from my heart again.....i fell badly once, but i stood up again, learned from mistakes and carried on. and it is definitely a load off from the heart. whee...finally!!! whee....

fond memories then....

2005-12-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

hee...post bbq thoughts:

1. its nice.

2. its tiring, cos i have to do a lot of fanning and cooking.

3. after the whole thing, i realized i ate only 1 chicken wing, 1 otah, fried rice and bee hoon only. the rest is just wondering around but anyways happens every bbq.

4. 2 guys including me and the rest girls, hmm well, things were still done properly, phew...

5. Savannah Condo Park is a nice place. proud of my bro, proud of the place.

----------------____________________-------------------___________________-----------------_____________________

yea... in my eyes, there's only you, dont think anyone can replace you. hee...

i think certain things, after time, it becomes coated with layers and layers of something called determination. if it takes even a longer time, i think the coating will get even thicker. seriously, i dunno why, but after all these while, i just know my determination is stronger than ever.

this is zhong yu, this is me, this is my life..... ;)

2005-12-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

hmm...i had this impulse to just explode. cant take it anymore, cos i feel that it is killing me anyway. hmm am i talking any sense again ?

kk back to me, anyway looking at the calender, i got a real shock. hols ending real soon. 2 things that i dread the most is for school to start. the next is ... well i shant talk about it here. anyways, yea i certainly do hope that it will never end, but again is it too evil to just wander your life away this way. yep look towards the future, dream big and do big. im sure things will get better and views will get clearer because the sky is always there for you, and Lord will be looking upon you.

yep. theres alot of other meaningful things to think about yea... :)

2005-12-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

finished "The five people you meet in heaven" by mitch albom.

finished 3-D trigo online lecture.

finished studying computing theory.

all in a day. but how come there is so much time? i wonder. but somethings i must know. because some things have changed and it never will be the same as it was when it started the previous christmas. my feelings just stoned, sealed. i wouldnt want anything for now. i wouldnt want anything for christmas anymore. because what i hoped and prayed for never came, so whats the point then? i place my faith in God and the rest i just follow and hope to see the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle to be placed neatly for me.

yep. Growing up sucks and i wish i'd be like the little boy next door, jumping and hoping around, smiling from the heart...

2005-12-10T21:39:00.001+08:00

oh yes... early season's greeting...something i came up with .... have fun ....

2005-12-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

one of the worst saturdays....

yep...nothing really good happened the moment i wake up until now.

for no reason, the antique glass ornament covering the antique lamp in my mum's room just dropped and shattered...

no one is in a good mood after that, very precious thingie...

then some personal stuff cropped up, the day got even worst. wouldnt want to talk too much about it.

going out to check out my bro's condo later.

gonna cross bridges, tt is no jay walking today. gonna be careful, make sure all cars stopped when the red light is up. cos just so conincidentaly there might be people who got drunk late morning or early afternoon.

gonna pray hard for myself before i step out of my house. make sure the gas stove is switched off, the door is properly locked.

not gonna talk much today lest i offend my mum or my dad later, both not in good mood.

yep all in all this is not my day...

piss off....

2005-12-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

like wad people always do... i will just sit there and mumble in chinese yea... suan le ....

i laugh at my own stupidity, cos zhong yu always fail...

i laugh at my own foolishness, cos zhong yu always get cheated....

i laugh at my own down right utter stupidity, bcos people never gave me any promises...

i laugh at all the efforts i put in, bcos it simply means nothing...

i laugh at myself, simply i din build any good memories...or rather i din know how to?

i laugh at this 17 years of living, bcos i simply miss out too much...

i laugh....

i dun really know what has struck me... but its really foolish of me... really foolish of me... yep...

i laugh.....

k...time for some serious work...

2005-12-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

first thing first....

im starting my revising le...but err...too much holidays really make your brain rusty....real rusty.

second one....

im still as busy as ever, but still enjoying it....

third one....

i suppose to be creative, but how to, when i cant draw properly in real life and now i have to draw in a comp?

fourth one....

definitely life is still as simple as ever and im planning to keep it this way really...

fifth one....

i will wait for this one to come....REAL SOON....

but again im asking, how soon is soon?

sixth one....

i've been talking too much crap le....

bye....

2005-11-29T14:45:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy...

OGL

Think Quest

SNYO Webbies...

NTU job attachment....even more designing works....

arghh...this holidays is filled to the brim....never been this busy in my life before. oh wells, its better than to be too free right? anyways something to think about, really cant imagine how life is going to be when school starts. arghh fustrating...how am i going to adjust? dang....so much to do, so much to think about....kk better use my thinking power for more creativity....till then...cya guys again...

anyway if any inferno peeps are reading....u guys simply rocks....nice knowing the bunch of you man....looking forward to the next meeting....cya soon!

2005-11-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

was what he told me true? then if it is, then i have been happily cheated for more than a year. the sense of being cheated isnt nice and i cant really take it.

in the end, i do hope you have been telling me all the truth. i still do sincerely hope... bahz...

REALLY CONFUSED....

2005-11-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

wad lao shi said was definitely true...

dang why must this happen...

damn....

2005-11-06T22:45:00.000+08:00

ok...made a big decision this few days. well i dunno whether it is considered big anot. but somehow it is to me. passion and interest which i have put into for 6 years. yep decision made to leave SNYO. This coming concert will be the last one for me. after 6 years...it is time to hang the boots.

there are just too many reasons that lead to this decision. well 3 main reasons...

i have achieved all i can for all these 6 years...2 tours...been the principle...

the motivational factor is gone...yep

last one ... well i should not touch on it... cos i still really haven been able to take it yet. yep...

well yep... and there is alot stuff which i have to concentrate on coming next year... balancing snyo will not be really achievable.

yep...anyway yep please dun remind me of that thing k ... i still cant really handle it ... yep so try hard k please dun talk too much about it ... remind me when the 2 months is coming to an end. yep tts all...

2005-11-01T11:18:00.000+08:00

dreams is what we live for. dreams are the motivational factors driving us to achieve them in everyday life. the musical, Lao Jiu, which i am playing is about dreams. where one sacrifices alot of things around him to achieve it.

the main character is actually acting out his real life encounter. giving up all he has to pursue his dreams in puppet show. this is what he did in the musical. in real life, he gave up his life of good prospects for the essence of theatre studies. this is what he did for his dream. as the name suggests itself, musical is the combination of actors singing on the stage together with the music that is going on in the orchestra pit. without the music, the musical can never go on. with neither roles playing their part, the musical can never be a success.

this actor put in his soul into this musical. because he is actually singing out his life. it was touching especially when he really cried after the last scene. it goes to show how much did he sacrifice for his dreams. i was really touched. i actually got into his mood when i was playing the music for the last scene. maybe it is the factor of everything that cause him to sit down there and cry after the show. for once, i have never realised that i have to put in so much of real emotion when playing my violin. a lot of things went through my mind, a lot a lot... in the end all these are also gonna convert into dreams of mine.

i will work hard too to fulfil them....

2005-10-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

i've missed out too many in life....

gonna miss one whole big chunk of it in time to come...

i promise if i ever have a son or daughter in the future....

i will never let him or her suffer under this education system...

they will never miss out anyone in their life....

i promise....

2005-10-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

sunday afternoon , i am sitting alone infront of my computer. just looking at it and looking at my handphone. ever since when am i being taken away the right to express my feelings?

i cant express my feeling. cant convey my thoughts into actions. i just have the right to look at it and then turn away and sigh. everything is just like that, nothing more. this is one fact i have to convince myself. there are many times that i really would like to just do it but i cant. because if things were that simple, it wouldnt have become what it is today. i am void of it. and i just have to let it slip through. it hurts alot, because of the restrictions i am faced with. i cant control my feelings but i just have to control the flow of it. it just gets meaningless when no one actually cares. yep.

it just simply hurts...

2005-10-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

whoa...ok...snyo quartet ended. finish up the two shifts these two days. next up will be the webbie and other stuff.

got this 16PF personality test. got to say it is a real thorough personality test. reflects accurately of what i am. in fact i might have known it long ago?

something which has been bottling up in me, that is the word respect. sometimes some stuff can just be laughed away really....some stuff cant. shjdfiqhq fdsnsfn fhfiuehfui hfieuhfui nfiuewfn nfieunhfui niunhfifn nfinfirjhihj hniuqwhidn fniwqnf
nfieunfi fneinfi fnifnoin ....

kk yep those stuff up there make sense. go figure it out yourself. a series of events that happened today which really shut me down and wake me up that hey what have i been doing all this while. am really wasting time on things that really dun seem to be worthwhile anymore? 3 events was enough to explain everything. yep sometimes i question myself, what do i really get in return for treating people nicely, for giving people the respect they somehow deserved. what i get in return is the attitude of indifference and disrespect. maybe somehow they dun feel anything. but hey sometimes some stuff are really done pretty obvious. i am not transparent, i do have feelings still. and what was done really hurt me lots. i am backing off really. i am too scared to continue what i am doing right now. it was the same in Vienna, it was the same in Singapore. what has really happened i dun really know. but i do know i still deserve that little amount of respect. yea?

2005-10-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

wHee....relief....

PROMOS ENDED>>!!!!! haha

kk... went to clarke quay area with class... lunched, then spent like around 3 plus areas in Settler's cafe. erm is it the correct spelling? not very sure. nice time spent. they got all these cool board games which you will never see in the normal market. yep basically spend the after playing, joking, talking crap... pretty nice gang to hang out with except for lunch hehe....but anyways it is a nice class outing... :)

kk will be meeting chin chong tomorrow... haven gay with him for a long time liao haha..... kk jk jk.... JK only!! haha kk too hyper... yep ... but in another way after this weekend, life gonna get busy again...

To Do List:

SNYO webbie...
ThinkQuest
Openhouse...bleh...stresses
PW....
SNYO quartet...err...

hmm maybe not that busy after all...

2005-10-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

while i am still mugging, others celebrate...

while i am still mugging, hesay would be meeting foyriendbay to celebrate...

life is never fair...

it is never fair.....

hmm am i talking sense....

2005-10-04T20:24:00.000+08:00

one day break from promos. no paper tomorrow. which means more time to prepare for the remaining papers. in the midst of this exam, i remembered one year ago when i was at VJ open house, was talking to ben about his promos during that time. when asked how was it, he replied,"yea ok lah...can promote."

yep i understand how he really feels that time. i use to aim to excel in exam but i have to admit promos in jc isnt easy. the feeling to settle for mediocrity isnt really nice, this isnt me. but i guess i have to be more open minded and adapt to this new feeling.

2005-10-01T12:04:00.000+08:00

it grows stronger by the days...little by little...it grows under attention and care....

just like love, it grows....

2005-09-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

hah....promos in 2 days time....in the midst of all the stress....there is still time for peace, serenity, joy, happiness in cultivation...

love you always.... :)

2005-09-27T10:47:00.000+08:00

"he is forsaken by the one in whom he had reposed all his trust..."

heh...impressive stuff....

as of lately, i have been taking random pictures of my surroundings and all. i find it strange because sometimes i find the things i always see in my surrounding rather distant and unknown to me. like there is this strong sense of deja vu lingering in my head now and then to things i usually do see in my daily life. maybe it is due to stress. maybe it is something else...but in any circumstances, i hope to revert to my old self after exams...yep

2005-09-26T18:01:00.000+08:00

心恢了，意冷了。

別無所求，隻希望得到永遠的快樂。

因為今生，隻可以有一個你。

因為我還相信

金誠所志，金石為開．．．

hmmm...moments of inspiration haha...not been using chinese for a long time. hee....

2005-09-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

sunday with alot of blessings...

yep grace to the God. today is a nice day. spent half of my day in the new Savanna Condo Park today. they just attained their TOP today yep. so here we are the entire family was down to have a look at their showflats. impressive design i have to say. the planning of each unit is nice. the compound of the condo follows closely to the theme of Savanna. which is awesome. the whole place is very spacious with very nice garden area with fake mountain caves and stuff decorated with bronze statues of giraffe, elephants and hippos. really nice.

then after much negotiations throughout the entire afternoon. a deal is made. my brother and sister-in-law decided on one of the units. yep, this is a family effort in helping my brother and sis-in-law to find a new house for this pair of loving couple who will be marrying soon. :) yep...grace to the God. looking at all of these, i just cant help but be very of envious of my brother. ok hes got a new car, now a new house, a nice and decent job and a nice wife. yep really cant help it but feel that he has accomplished alot at his point of life. then i was thinking, what he is exactly doing now is actually my goal of life. yep. A nice wife, a decent and nice job, a condo, a car. hmm...dont really know what to say. but i hope in time to come when i reached this point of life, i would be able to achieve all these or even be better than my brother. haha yep...so yea since i have a clear direction of how and what my life should be, i will definitely work hard towards it. so back to my lecture notes for preparation for promos because this is where i begin fighting for it :)

It is because I am Zhong Yu, I know I can do it.

2005-09-24T13:43:00.000+08:00

Was browsing through the channels i have on SCV during my lunch time break. fingers fall nicely on the buttons to press a '1' then following up closely with a '6'. there i landed on Discovery Travel and Living again. one of my favourite channels yep. hee. it was the usual Ian Wright show but somehow the place he was introducing today just look so so so familiar. yes it is Vienna....

Memories flooded back really. It is such pleasure to watch Vienna in MOTION again. Places which i have visited with my dearest friends all came into motion AGAIN. ok then Vienna was not enough really, Ian Wright actually brought me to Salzburg. Again it is all the familiar sceneries. It touches the heart really. Though the people are not in the motion but somehow all the stuff we did together in Vienna and Salzburg and all just begin to form itself again within the TV screen again. I smiled...this has been a very long time since i smiled from the bottom of my heart. The joy of everything that i gained from this Vienna trip just could not stop me from smiling. Then yea again, i remembered that i spent my brithday in Vienna this year also, which makes everything even more unforgettable.

Love ya, Vienna.
Love ya, Ian Wright
Love ya, Discovery Travel & Living.

Love ya all, members of the Dysfunctional Family

Salzburg'05

2005-09-22T16:07:00.000+08:00

thursday again...and its still raining. hee...nice to hear that VS got back to band 1 which is amongst the top 10 schools in Singapore again. yea frankly speaking this is where we really belong. for everything that i know, i have done my best for you and kept her flag unfurled...just as what Mr Maran always say,"Guys the school has put in everything in your batch in the hope that you guys will bring us back to where we are in the past." and 4 years down the road we truely stand up bravely to tell the world that VS is not the fallen force anymore. Still remember the uber low school moral when we were nearly out of the top 20 secondary schools in Singapore. yep its been comforting that our hard work did pay off.

moving on, now that i am in VJC, it is life of total different story. the pressure to uphold the school reputation is every stronger.
hmm just a side note this is the stress that well many of us are going through...:)

haha well the formula to get 4As for promos....hehe

some post lecture recreational activities that S64 guys never fail to indulge in.... :)

well thats all, keep smiling and all the best for promos.

2005-09-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

its been nice. yea, something like what old ninjas has attained. Peace of the mind. Calm in the heart. but somehow my heart is kinda dead. no more emotional feelings. is it something bad for me? haiz...

anyway somehow in the same time, i have a surge of confidence for the future simply because i have no more fear for it. nothing can be worse than what i am going through now really. and i am actually smiling it away. brave of me huh...

2005-09-17T11:44:00.000+08:00

hmmm...been hooked on JJ lin's song lately...it has been accompanying me through all the revision periods... find this particular song rather meaningful, because it just leaves such a nice after effect on me after listening it.

heres the lyrics:

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深
但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到

Chorus:
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔
看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷的泪水开始流
轻声说道

hee yep...lyrics is nice, song is nice, voice is noice. you cant find any other song like this. lyrics is somehow simple but the way he portrayed the unchanging love of the older generation is something we can never find now in our current society where relationship is just so messy and complicated now. times has changed but the song successfully captured what all of us are missing right now. it might be a culture to follow up on the latest trend in fashion, technology and even love. but maybe we should learn to slow down and observe, isnt it always the best to have a slow and steady progress that will last you forever? the so-called bubble society we indulge in really reflects how moral has devalued over the years. everything that we indulge in is so beautiful and nice as it seems but the time it lasts is just as short as how a bubble last. seen now and gone the next moment. is it time for all of us to wake up?...

2005-09-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

what the fuck....yea what the fuck...this is my mood now...

heh yea...today is friday yea.....yesterday was in a bad mood... but yea i think i somehow forgotten what happened yesterday....

no matter what happens....i put my trust on it... hope i wun be disappointed... :) yep...life still moves on...Earth still spins...and no one is gonna stay and tell me what i should do....always the same...

forget the past...treasure the present...work hard for future...

it is because i am Zhong Yu, i know i can do it...